Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
