I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
