escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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