Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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