Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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