I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
