Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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