I love black thongs
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
