the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
