The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
