Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize