Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
