Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
