R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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