Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
