i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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