You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
