Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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