omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
