drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
