I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
