Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
