I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
