Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
