Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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