my sisters under your porch take her home
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
