With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
