thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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