don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm like, not good at living.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
