DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
