So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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