oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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