No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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