chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
