Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
