What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
