she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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