how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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