Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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