went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
