Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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