We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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