if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You ate ashes out of my bong
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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