If i come over, it means nothing
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
