Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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