I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
