hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
