how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
