I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
