I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
